Marriage and Moving

Guys... there is one thing that can be said to be true about moving: It will stress your marriage.

Gracious! Where do I start?

Moving is stressful all on it's own, especially when you're planning on a move halfway across the country.  Matt and I tend to be team oriented... at least in thought... but when it comes to actually executing a task, we approach everything differently.

I sweep a room. As I finish packing up boxes, I clean up a space or a surface and consider it done. I can look at a room or a space and consider it "finished".

Matt spreads out, creates piles and packs with organized chaos. It kills me. He has a system... I know he does! Unfortunately, his system does not compute with me. I cannot understand it.

Right now, I speak a different language than Matt does. I speak emotion. I want to cry and yell and act out my feelings... rather than talk about them. I am challenged with the inability to control my emotions.

Matt has logic and reason. He does not understand my volatility and wants to talk me down (or run away). I imagine he is thinking: "Why can't Beth just make the most of this? Why is she being so negative?"

There are other stress factors like time constraints, obligations before leaving, spending time with loved ones and actually preparing for the road trip. How does one balance all of this and maintain a peaceful marriage?!

It seems impossible.

The part of me that wants to bless our marriage knows that I need to tone down the emotions. I need to ease up on control. I need to communicate my emotional needs to my husband so he can hear and respond like the good person he is. And in the end, we can really be triumphant and consider this a win.

And still be married.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 14, Husband

Today... I'm publicly declaring how thankful I am for my husband, Matt. It seems cliche', but truth be told, I am incredibly thankful for who he is and who he strives to be. I tend to focus on the external aspects of Matt; the active parts of who he is... his job, his role as a husband and his activities with our son. It's so easy to be caught up in the way we serve one another, rather than the intent behind why we would serve in the first place.


Matt has always had a tender heart. As he ages, his heart has been calloused and rubbed rough... but when I stop and look at my husband I see that boyish heart. It's beating for the people he loves. It would willingly give up anything to save a loved one from pain or anguish. That heart still seeks righteousness and goodness in this rough and hard life.

Matt with our baby Lucas... 2009.

My husband is a "feelings" guy. With a tender heart comes a sensitive spirit and when Matt has the capacity, he recognizes feelings and emotions in others. Unlike many, Matt will put himself out there and ask what is wrong... ask if this person wants to talk about what is hurting ... he will open himself to vulnerability. This attribute of his is what initially attracted me toward him and eventually snagged me in for the long-haul. It's still what keeps us going some days.


Matt is committed. We've been married nearly nine years and in the duration of these years Matt has stuck with me through thick and thin. His honesty (though at times is tough to hear) is what has kept the air clear and potentially prevents baggage from creeping in. As a couple, we have our quirks... ups and downs... but at the end of the day commitment is what that brings us back together. This commitment reminds me of the love we have for one another.

There is so much more to be thankful for in this man I call my husband, but I will limit it to the above three: a tender heart, his ability to be in touch with his emotions, and his committed spirit. In marriage, we are familiar with the dark and rough parts of our partner... but focusing on the beauty enables a spirit of generosity and sensitivity toward this person we're called to protect, honor and serve.

What are you thankful for in your spouse? Who are they as a person and why does this make them special to you?

The Sweeter Life

Pioneer Theater opens their first show of the season for this year tonight... and all I can think about is how nice it will be to have my husband back!

This week has been particularly challenging.

We don't have a car right now, so the hubs has been leaving around eight every morning to catch the bus. He works all day... and night... and then rides his bike back home around two am. Last night he was home around midnight.

Then he gets up and does it again the next day.

I'm exhausted for him... both emotionally and physically. And thankfully, a few lighter weeks are right around the corner.

I'm not going to the show tonight, which is fine. But on some level it's always been nice to commence these rough weeks with dinner and an evening together... even if it's still at work. And these weeks have been rough! I enjoy reconnecting and finding a sense of "us" again on Matt's last night of a show...

But we'll spend the evening apart again... and begin our "normal" routines tomorrow morning. We'll have breakfast, go for a walk and get to all the things that are put on the back burner while hubs is slaving away at work.

I'm thankful for hardworking husbands, paying jobs and our adorably unique life... but I'm even more thankful for the time we have together when all of these things separate us for a time. I think it's safe to say that distance does make the heart fonder, and though it takes selflessness and a vision for the big picture, the time spent apart reminds me just how much sweeter life is when Matt is around.

Matt's An Old Soul

Not only did Lucas turn three, but the following day, Matt turned thirty. My husband... the man who will always be two years younger than me... is now officially a man. I mean, isn't thirty the cutoff from young man to man?

I'll admit, Matt's an old soul. He has wisdom and depth most people couldn't dream of... or understand, for that matter... and Matt's always been really serious about life. His career is intensely demanding... he finished graduate school and is full blown professional in an older man's game (he's a decade younger than most of the peeps at his level). Matt doesn't mess around when it comes to hard conversations and "getting to the heart of things." He may have just turned thirty, but I've always felt he was wise beyond his years.

Now that my husband is officially thirty, I don't know what to think. I suppose his manhood will develop in other ways... ear hair, wrinkles, liver spots? I dunno. He has pretty awesome genetics... have you met Matt's mom!? She looks SO young... and Matt's Gran? She looks young too! So I'm married to this adorably fresh-looking, wise and mature... thirty year old.

And he's shackled to a wife who ages pretty normally, and is completely immature.

Happy birthday honey! We're lucky to have you.

This and That

The past couple days have been full of this and that. We haven't had much going on in the way of big events, but have managed to stay busy.

Matt is on his final show for Great River, and after last week it HAS to be a better tech. Matt was exhausted, pulling three and four hours of sleep a night...and one all nighter. That type of grueling schedule does not make me happy. I worry and fret for Matt constantly when things are hectic for him.

We had a bit of an issue with centipedes inside our apartment, and this proved to be unnerving for both Matt and myself. They seemed to be everywhere; the couch, the kitchen...even our bed! Yes... Matt woke up only to find one in our bed! Gives me the willies just thinking about it. I was at my wits end and then they just disappeared! Praise Jesus. Seriously...

Lucas has been a handful this past week and continues to be so. Most days are exhausting and I find myself feeling emotional by days end. That being said, he's had fun days full of swimming, running, playing and lots of cartoons.

Yes.. We may have spent a day or two indoors last week, resulting in Disney Channel and Sprout. The kid loves his tv time.

We took a drive with Matt yesterday, and headed North up the Mississippi river. The countryside is lovely out here! We broke up the drive with an ice cream stop at a local creamery. What a treat! The shop was attached to a tasting room for local wineries and I was immediately interested.

We head out if Winona on Saturday and I cannot believe it's been nearly five weeks! This little town sure is sweet...and I'm afraid I am going to miss its charm.

Guess we'll have to make the most of these next couple days!

Chocolate, Shakespeare and Champagne

Last night we attended a garden party for the Great River Shakespeare Festival. It was Chocolate, Shakespeare and Champagne and a really fun time.

I was worried about taking Lucas, but he was such a little gentleman, that we couldn't have imagined him not being there. And...it seems he is quite the popular fellow amongst those who don't typically spend their evenings with children. The folks loved him!

It's always a treat to meet the people Matt spends his days (and nights) with. I'll be honest, these are quite possibly the most down to earth theater folks we've ever spent time with. I felt included and ended up having wonderful conversations with new friends I was not expecting to have. The folks here in Winona are just the sweetest!

All in all, it was a fun night for the entire family. I am already looking forward to next years party!

A Week From Today

A week from today we will be headed to Minnesota. Matt has been hired as the resident sound designer for the Great River Shakespeare Festival, which means we will spend the month of June in Winona!

It seems this Summer will be a busy one. Our Spring has been a blur... Portland for a month... house sitting (which is why I've been a little spotty with my posting) and now a road trip to the Midwest. It's thrilling and I can honestly say I've enjoyed every minute of it.

After our four weeks in Winona, we will spend a weekend in Chicago with my dear friend Summer and her family. Then we're hoping to see a few friends down in Cincinnati the following week or two. It's going to be grand.

There really is nothing quite like adventure, reconnecting with loved ones and being together as a family. I'm eager to create memories, see the country and be away for a little while.

My Child Is A Weirdo?

I've come to realize that my child is incredibly self-aware. No... I'm not bragging... I'm actually wondering if he's shaping up to be a weirdo. Here's why:

Lucas potty trained in four weeks. I kid you not... and you can read about it here. Boys don't potty train, at least that what everyone tells you. It sounds a lot like this the first two years of their life: "Oh yea... that's gonna be rough. Good luck with that." And then that mom who is giving you such great advice adds some type of personal horror story like: "Yea... my kid, he pooped on this and that and then he...." Need I go on?

After all was said and done, Lucas is potty trained. Like getting up in the night to use the big toilet, potty trained. Like... asking to use the bathroom in the grocery store, potty trained. And he's two and a half. Weird child.

Another reason my child may be weird: He asks to have his nose blown. I've yet to meet another child (I know they're out there) who hates snot on their face, but our kid has a smidge of snot on his face and he says: "Mom... blow! Peese." He will stop playing on the playground to blow his nose. The child will unroll an entire roll of toilet paper in an effort to blow the boogers out of his nose. Normal? Who knows?

Third (and biggest) reason my child freaks me out: Yesterday at the store, he tells me he needs to use the bathroom and then adds, "Frow up." I of course was like, "Yea, yea... we can use the potty in a few minutes." Because, like I've mentioned before... the kid LOVES going to the bathroom. But he doesn't look good... and I replay the above statement in my head to realize he's said, "throw up." Oh geeze... better find a bathroom, stat!

After asking an employee and finding the restroom, we go in and thankfully it's clean. Lucas finds a toilet he deems acceptable, walks up to it and tosses his cookies. Twice. I am freaking out on the inside, but playing it cool in an effort to keep him calm (which is ridiculous, because he's acting like he has it all under control)... because, seriously! Seriously! What two year old tells his mother he needs to throw up, and effectively throws up... in the toilet!? Most moms deal with carnage on the floor, bed, car, public areas...

Mind you, I'm not complaining. Just curious. Is my child a weirdo? And if so, he didn't get it from me... he got it from this guy. His dad. Obviously, the guy isn't stable. I'm just gonna throw that out there...

Hard Workin' Hubs

The weekend is almost over... as of this evening and I've been thinking about how I haven't posted anything in awhile. I haven't had anything interesting to share, so I'll give you the scoop on the hubs.

Matt's been bustin' his buns in the theater (as usual) and even though Emma has just opened, he's up to his ears in theater business. The man has designed sound and music for nine shows in six months and has three more shows to put up before May. I'm not sure how he mentally stays in the game and keeps that fire burning for his artistic line of work.

I'll admit, it's lovely to go to a show and the fruits of his labor. He meticulously picks music or sound effects that evoke specific feeling intended in that portion of the show. Matt has also found the ability to write music for shows while on a deadline or time-crunch. I can't imagine how stressful it is to force creativity into the box of time. But... when I go to a show, the sound is always solid (if I must brag, I will).

The hubs will continue to plug away and constantly have his head divided between home and work until May. After May, he has a promising Summer ahead... full of more work and adventure. Both of which I hope Lucas and I be a part of. Until then, we'll attempt to insert ourselves into the gaps of time he has available now.

http://www.matthewtibbs.com/

Reformat

All blog thoughts have halted. I need to reformat my brain, thoughts, feelings... I don't know... something. It feels like I'm in a blog rut and need to freshen things up. In the meantime, here are some highlights.

• Lucas and I are still swimming a few times a week, which has been delightful. He's a natural in the water and I'm constantly impressed/scared by his water confidence.
• Matt is working hard for da' money and is now in his fourth week teaching a new semester at the University. In addition, he's designing a show for both the U. and Pioneer Theater.. so needless to say, the guy has a full plate... and could use some prayer. Just gonna throw that out there.
• I just found out tonight... Lucas likes mushrooms. He asked for the mushrooms in my salad and ended up eating all of them. Isn't that kinda weird for a toddler?
• I started helping out in the toddler area of our church, which is kinda fun. I always had anxiety when working with other people's kiddos, but I think that's worn off. We have some pretty rad kiddos in our church too, which helps.
• When Matt is home, I've roped him into playing a board game with me called, Ticket To Ride. I love it and can't get enough. Poor guy. That being said, he beats me every time... and I keep comin' back for more.
• Lucas' behavior is still that of a toddler, but he's on the upswing. Things go in two-week cycles and often worsen when Lucas is dealing with a growth spurt. His behavior tends to lag when he's growing. During the off weeks, he's a gem. We don't have the full-scale ohmygoshmychildisouttoruinmylife moments nearly as often... thank goodness.
• Speaking of growing, I put Lucas on the scale today and he weighs 28 pounds. I nearly fell over... because that means he's gained 7 pounds since July! The child is a beast. I love that beast.

So... that's all I can think of these days. I'm still wasting my time reading fiction (and loving it), dieting (trying to get 15 pounds off), and have sorta gotten into the habit of hitting up the thrift store once a week. It's so fun! I rarely leave with more than two items and spending more than ten bucks, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's a habit I should keep in check. Hmm....

So there you have it. Due to my lack of inspiration, I've been doing a little blog surfing on the side and finding some good stuff. I just may have to share some of my finds.

Sick Day

Normally... we find ourselves dealing with a sick little boy WHILE we're traveling, but Lucas held off until we were home. Sad little guy can't keep anything down today. So we're watching movies... and taking lots of cat naps.



In his sadness... Lucas said his first full sentence! He said: "I want Daddy." Nearly broke my heart... precious lil' goober.

Simple And Sweet

This past weekend was a full one... but Sunday we made sure to spend a little time hangin' out. Our favorite thing is to hang out front... because I can chill with a cup of coffee and Lucas can explore to his heart's content. Win.

 Much time is spent moving these planters. They were supposed to be beautiful flowing flowers... but I cannot make anything grow for the life of me! Anywho... they're happy sprouts that seem to intrigue Lucas for extended amounts of time. Another win.

As you can see above... Matt's a bit sunburned. He was in a car accident on Friday and ended up waiting out in the sun for a few hours. Talk about salt in the wound... like it's not bad enough having a serious fender bender, but then to acquire a fancy sunburn. Bummer.

Thankfully... everyone is okay. Both vehicles had to be towed... but Matt and the other fella walked away unscathed. Oh! And Matt was driving a work truck... so we still have our fully-functioning hooptie. And a fully-functioning Matt. Phew.

Sweeping is pretty high on Lucas' favorite list. If the broom is in hand... we have to keep a healthy distance. As you can see... the broom handle is perfectly positioned to knock out teeth or poke an eye out... and I frankly, will have none of that. When Lucas is "sweeping" I often feel like a broken record player... "Lucas, please keep the broom on the ground." Over and over again. Sigh....

Matt is fully immersed in work now. We won't see him for the next two weeks and sadly... he's already running on fumes. This weekend was a treat. We spend a lot of time together and with friends we adore, which is a great way to recharge right before a couple intense weeks of work and responsibility. I am learning to appreciate the greatness of small things and this weekend was a healthy way to acknowledge the beauty of the simple and sweet.

Seven Years

Today... Matt and I celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary. First things first... I have no idea where seven years went! I suppose if I stopped and thought long and hard about it I'd say it went toward Grad School, Family, moving around a few times and having a kiddo of our own... but seriously!? Where did it go?

This past year has been especially challenging in our marriage. It's been a year of growth, development and self-awareness for both of us, which inevitably is always a challenge. But it's a win. For the first time Matt has a job he's proud of and a job that helps us move toward having a life of intentional living. We have a community that both of us feel welcome in and friends who envelope us in love, while challenging us to be the people we should be. We have a healthy two-year-old boy who also has friends that love him dearly. And bottom line... the adversity, change and challenge has brought Matt and I closer together. We seek to conquer life as a duo, coming out on top... stronger than ever.

*Can you tell we're relationship people?

Loves of my life!

So...whether or not it's a challenging year, a fun year, or a year of joyous blessings... we're so thankful to have each other. After seven years, I can honestly say that neither of us would be the people we are today, were it not for the other. And for that, I have so much to be thankful for. I believe I'm a better person after seven years of being with Matt.

I love you honey. Here's to seven more years!

Deep & Selfless Love

As a couple, Matt and I have rhythm in our life and it flows easily for us. I mostly enjoy my role at home as wife and mother. Matt mostly enjoys his role out in the workforce as breadwinner, father and husband. True this is a very traditional role and often it's far from perfect... but it has become steady and functional for us.

This week I am more aware than ever how hard the hubs works to keep us afloat, financially, that is. True, he always works hard and I won't ever deny that. But the weight of his responsibility is very evident to me this week, and I'm ever more thankful for all he achieves in our life together.

I think about the reasons he works so hard, and it goes far beyond bills, food, housing and entertainment... but the fact that he loves us from the very core of who he is. Matt's love is deep and selfless and I see this in the way he provides. I am thankful for the rhythm and flow of our life. Yet, I am often caught up in the current and fail to acknowledge how special Matt is; how my life wouldn't have the depth or passion it has today, due to him

I saw this photo online and it made me realize how unique it is to share life with one person, such as Matt. My heart was caught up in the remarkableness of my husband and how lucky, truly lucky, I am to be married, partnered and coexisting with a man of such integrity.


Photo Courtesy of: Ben Heine
Ben Heine is a painter, illustrator, portraitist, caricaturist and photographer...check him out!

Too Much Fun

Last night was opening night for the show that Matt and his coworkers have been slaving over the past few weeks. It seemed unreal for him to imagine having a weekend at home and going back to a "normal" schedule. I can tell you right now, I'm happy he's back.

So... I won't go into the details, but last night was fun. We ate some great food at Niche', saw Sunset Boulevard and partied at Ichiban Sushi afterward. It was a late night with too much food, too much drink and way too much fun.

It's nice to have an excuse to get out and spend a late-night together. After this show, Matt only has Rent (which I'm stoked about) and then a few weeks "off" for the Summer. Better start makin' some fun family plans!

Never Happier

Saturday's tend to be a quiet day of rest and relaxation in our home. Matt is typically coming off a busy week and I'm desperate to share a day with him. So we often have a big breakfast, talk about our week over mid-morning coffee and an afternoon movie, while Lucas sleeps.

In between all this adult time, we're distracted by Lucas. He is never happier than when Matt is home. His personality comes alive and he shares extreme joy with us on these days. His smile is wider and his goofiness is never-ending.

I snapped a few pics of our little guy:

It's A Wrap

It was a slow week and in spite of that fact, it seemed to fly by. Matt was in tech rehearsals every night and Lucas was sick in the early portion of the week. I spend my days doing the usual... reading, cleaning and staying indoors. It was cold.

Matt and I went to the premier of In at the theater and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was a intriguing and challenging play, full of thought and conversation starters.

The great thing about going to opening night isn't just the date night, but the fact that immediately following the opener, Matt has a weekend to spend with us.

Yes, he spends most of the weekend recuperating and lazing about, but it's still wonderful to have him home again. It's fun to have long breakfasts in the morning and afternoon movie time while Lucas takes his nap.

Lucas soaks up the Dadda time, following him around and snuggling for unusual amounts of time on the couch. The moment Lucas wakes up in the morning, he walks immediately into our room to play with Matt in bed. His cheerful laughter and joy regarding Matt is unbelievably adorable.

It snowed again last night and this morning, resulting in cancellation of our Sunday plans. Instead we had a big breakfast, watched The Incredibles together and went for a snowy walk in the park.

I'm The Luckiest

It's probably not very nice to brag about how amazingly thoughtful my hubs is, but I'm going to anyway.

Matt is the guy who sits next to Lucas at dinner every night, so I have a little break in my day.

He's the guy who will set up the piece of furniture with directions in Swedish, because he knows I'm not so great with a screwdriver.

Matt is the guy who reminds me I'm still cute, even though I'm now a mother who's body is a bit different than the day he married me.

Matt is the guy who makes breakfast some mornings, because I'm too hangry* to make a decision about what to eat. He's also the guy who pours me a glass of juice... because I'm hangry.

Matt is the guy who taught me that it's okay to admit I don't have it all together, because my pride always cometh' before a fall. Always.

Matt is the guy who is going out every day (and night) to earn a living for our family. He is also the guy who worked hard in college and graduate school so he can earn a living for this family.

Matt is the guy who loves the Lord without using big talk or puffery to prove himself to the World. Instead he uses a warm smile and conversation to show you the love of Jesus.

Matt is the guy who bought me pearl earrings for Valentine's Day... because "he wanted me to feel special."

Matt's the guy I married and I'm the luckiest gal to have him as my hubs.

*Hangry: A person who is so hungry, they're angry.

Beautiful Sunday

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful Sunday in the month of February. It was sunny, clear and warm. The day was perfect.

We live in a neighborhood that was made for days like this, so we went around the block, grabbed lunch and headed to the park for a picnic.

So bright... must keep one eye closed.
Also... do you see that little hand reaching up for a bite?

Lucas removed his own shoes, therefore he was forced to stay in the stroller. 

Ironically, it's supposed to cool down again. The clouds are rolling in today and by Wednesday we'll forget what the warm sun on our faces felt like. We'll only have wishes and wants for Springtime.

Mondays

Monday's are always an adjustment as Matt goes back to work. It's too quiet around here and Lucas misses having another gentleman around.

It has become our routine to say goodbye to Daddy as he's leaving. After hugs, kisses and lots of waving, Lucas stays in the window to watch Matt drive away. He smiles and says "BYE" for five minutes after Matt is out of sight.

Bye Daddy! Have a good day!

Oh! There is the garbage truck!

Mom! Stop it!