Here's to September in Indiana.

Oh August! Where have you gone!? 

The past month seems to have just flown by... I blinked and there it went. We are fully immersed in September, and there is a faint waft of Fall in the air. Change was on the horizon and now it's fully descended upon us, whether we like it or not.

Matt has completed his first full show of the year (Next To Normal), and per usual, he was stretched thin. While accomplishing that, he finished the sound design and editing of a full length documentary (The Hatfield Project), out of Portland, Oregon. Needless to say, Matt's last week of August and first week of September were busy! The adjustment in our home has been a deep challenge, and no matter how hard I try and prepare myself for this annual transition, it still slams me down and steps all over my face.

One of this years I'll finally get the hang of it.

Lucas and I are full swing into school here at home. It's been nice to have structure in our days again. I find myself REALLY thankful we're home this year for school as we're able to enjoy this season, the weather, and various activities we have around town. Our Little Critter is full of life! He is busy, silly, and a real active learner. Most of our "lessons" come from nature walks, playing games, and moving our bodies! I find myself exhausted at the end of the day from endless talking and ceaseless movement. His wonder for life right now is continually laced with joy, excitement and eagerness. I am always having to remind myself that "it won't always be like this, so enjoy it while it is!"

School work with Keith Richards.

After we finish Math, we go for a walk and have a little fun outdoors.

I've decided to be busy this Fall, even though it goes against everything in my personal values. For Lucas we have Tap Dance (I know! I'm excited to see how this goes...), Piano Lessons, Homeschool PE, and Soccer. It's no coincindence these are all kinesthetic classes, because IS IT POSSIBLE TO WEAR OUT A FIVE YEAR OLD!? Some days I wonder...

Matt's activities are work, and then a little bit of work, and just a smidge of work.

My activities include a couple social groups. It's been my goal to try and plug into Muncie as a community... to find those pockets of people who are really loving this community into the place she's intended to be. In addition, I've recently joined a professional choir here in Muncie. The Masterworks Choral group should be a great place to meet both professional and art-inspired people who enjoy the gift of vocal performance. 

In the Winter, when it's bitter cold out, we're planning our holidays, and eating a lot of carbohydrates, we will scale it all back. Only do one or two activities and really focus on hibernating (I say this jokingly, but really... let's be serious. I'll be hibernating).

As we prepare for cooler weather, I still continue my yard and garden ventures. It seems I could be in the yard every day, all day... and still have more to do! Thankfully, I enjoy it and find it intensely relaxing. Except, the mowing half an acre with a push mower. That's tough.

Kitteh likes to spend time in the backyard too!

My Rose of Sharon continues to bloom, and as she does so, she adds so much beauty to our back yard.

This beauty is called a "resurrection lily" and just literally appeared out of nowhere! She's just as fragrant and beautiful as can be!

We have had the fortune of having an abundance of hummingbirds this summer!

So... August is gone and September is here. A lot has happened, and as I mull over my feelings, my heart, and my desires for this school year, I can't help but feel lucky. Each day slips by full of learning, gardening, house work, meals, and home-life. All these hats I wear often feel heavy. In spite of the heaviness, I see how many gifts I have and I cannot deny how fortunate I am for this time in our lives.

 

Last Weekend Of Summer Break

This is the last weekend of our summer for the year. Matt starts school next week and from that point forward, every waking moment will be consumed with responsibility for things outside of our home.

Most of you know how stressful and consuming Matt's job can be, so when I say that I'm seriously grieving the loss of summer, you may understand. Things change, and having experienced this transition for nearly ten years, I know how challenging it will be.

That being said, it's been a great summer in our new home, new town (Muncie still leaves a lot to be desired) and with new friends. To be honest, it's my nature to think of all the things I wished for and haven't accomplished: camping, kayaking, fishing, hiking, exploring and such; but when I focus on what we gained this past summer, I couldn't be more thankful.

The past month has been full of naps, snacks, impromptu projects (we almost have the whole interior of our house painted!), sleeping late, thrift shopping (our favorite), eating lots of good foods, hanging with friends, gardening, and long talks of schemes and plans (my favorite!). I feel it's in these times of relaxation when our family is most whole. We don't really need "activities"... we just need togetherness.

So here we go! On to a new year of making income, creating programs, shaping young adults lives and careers, learning new things and most of all, hanging in there! Every school year is yet another opportunity to learn how to truly be partners and a family unit in the midst of life.

Summer Fun... and a Little Bit of Honesty

In spite of all the things (homesickness, sadness, grief and general malaise), this has been a great summer, thus far. We are seriously SO lucky to have such a great yard and home right now!

It brings me immense joy to see our Little Man climbing the tree, running through the sprinkler and doing laps around the yard, all the while laughing uncontrollably.

There are days (like yesterday) where I just feel ungrateful, thankless and wanting for more of the lifestyle (or a different lifestyle than we currently have) that I convince myself will supposedly make my life easier/more beautiful/fun... you name it.

But today, sitting out underneath the tree, drinking my homemade frozen strawberry lemonade (I win at some things), watching our hilariously goofy and happy child... I realize how good things are. So good.

Honesty? I am very aware of how my emotions change from day to day. I'm always very aware of how fortunate I am for grace...

Anyway... here are some funny pics of our happy little critter playing in our really big (and awesome) yard!

Ps. When I have to mow this lawn, I curse at it and sort of don't love it as much. Again, day to day... emotions and grace.

Sigh...

Fine By Me: Let's Buy A House

Happy Hump Day, my friends! It's Wednesday and per usual, I love Wednesdays. Not sure why... but maybe because it means the week is half way through!

It's also October, which is one of the most glorious months of the year, for reasons such as pumpkins, homemade baked goods, colored leaves, cool nights and foggy mornings. And snuggling. I love snuggling.

Things are looking up, really.

Matt and I are in the middle of buying a house! As of yesterday an offer was accepted and paperwork was submitted. We have inspections and such, which still leave room for backing out... but it's looking good, folks.

We've had a few snafu's with an interim Realtor, which are humorously bad, really. Situations where interim answers every question with "I don't know the answer to that question" or "Hmm. Yea... you might want to call someone for an answer to that question." Matt and I were incredulous when we were left in a conference room for a half an hour while interim took a phone call unrelated to us.

Thankfully, our original Realtor is back from vacation, and has taken over our proceedings, which leaves us breathing easier. It seems everything is going smoothly and quickly. We'll keep our fingers crossed for now...

So here we are... October. All of our art projects and activities seem to include leaves, beautiful Autumn colors and baked good. Fine by me. Autumn is a wonderful time of the year for delicious treats, snuggling (as mentioned above) and home buying!

There Is Light, Though It Be Dim

Moving is not just an act of packing boxes, loading a truck and adjusting to a new home, but an act of moving on; moving on and moving forward.

Saying goodbye to a place of comfort is difficult. Always... it's a challenge for the heart to give up the normal. I don't think this is unusual for most people. In spite of what's considered normal, I still find myself struggling to say goodbye to the routine, the habits and the well-trod land I've walked for a couple years in our last home. This land becomes my land... my place. My place is where I find comfort.

Saying goodbye to the people I've grown to love is intensely challenging. There is a loyalty and trust in relationships that have been fostered with tenderness and joy. Leaving these relationships is a massive sacrifice for a person like myself. After several relocations, I've grown to realize that once I am out of sight, I am also out of mind. Three or four weeks pass and those friendships I've held dear no longer call, check in or keep me in the loop. This is natural, and a painful loss.

Moving on after a relocation is a mental and emotional balance of letting go, and being okay with it. The act of "being okay with it" takes discipline and a willingness to step out on faith that things are going to be great... eventually. 

Knowing something is going to be difficult is all well and good... until I'm in the midst of that difficulty. Combine these things: eating alone, spouse works a fourteen hour day, boxes everywhere, child is belligerent, it's humid, and I'm already depressed. This leads to questioning everything I knew would be difficult. It's hella hard, and I want to blame someone... kick and cry! Everything's fine, seemingly. But the heart hurts and these tough days are all it takes to push my heart over the edge.

And then, that day passes. The next day is better. There is light, though it be dim. Redemption comes in spite of our inability or unwillingness to see it. Dwelling on the difficulty is not moving on and though it's tempting, moving forward is the only way to truly move. Remaining stagnant after a relocation leads to a sunken heart. This heart becomes unable to see the redemption that is lit by that dim light.

This life we've been called to live is not our own to claim. If we have been challenged to move by our maker, the only way to move is forward. Move toward the goodness, rich relationships, and intense beauty that can only come from a willingness to accept the gain of the past. Move forward toward a brighter future. 

...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

It's Gonna Be Great

Today is our first "normal" day in months! It feels good, actually. I'm sitting here at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. Lucas is napping and the house is quiet, minus the hum of the air conditioner.

After our "epic summer roadtrip" we were more than ready to be in a place we could call home. I think Muncie will be a fine home for us. It's refreshing to finally be in a mental and emotional place where we can let down our guard a little bit. We can relax and process everything we've experienced the past two and a half months. Keeping it together while attempting to travel, work and move all at the same time proved for Matt and I to be huge emotional challenge. It wasn't bad, just challenging.

So, here we are. Muncie feels very rural... there are fields and fields of corn stalks and soybean plants every direction out of town. With that in mind, Muncie feels like a college town too. Most of the burger joints are bars and every grocery store is filled with college kids, stocking up as they move into their new housing. There is an excitement in the air, and I can't help but love it.

Things are different and I fear we grew spoiled in Salt Lake City. There are no parks within walking distance of our house. Matt and I are going to have to seek and find the restaurants and coffee shops that have personality and a community charm. I've yet to find a grocery store that is reasonably priced, and also contains nutritious foods and ethical business practices. Salt Lake City had all the options of a large city, but was a small city within itself. Muncie does not have large city options, which means we'll learn to be creative, learn to live simply and learn to appreciate the great things Muncie does have to offer (I hope to find more of those things as we are here longer).

The weather has been divine, and in spite of the overall dryness, the grass and trees are all still very green. The skies are blue... without a hint of pollution. The clouds are fluffy and white and the wind smells sweet, like farms and agriculture (probably laced with a little pesticide... let's be honest). I think we're going to love it here. I think it will grow on us... if it hasn't already. I think we already miss our friends (deeply) and family, but with time and patience, we will suddenly realize we have new friends with new perspectives and new backgrounds; and it's gonna be great.

There You Have It: Muncie Home Ownership

We're back in Winona after our whirlwind trip to Muncie. Scoping out homes was an extremely valuable experience and we ended up being very pleased with our realtor. Jim was a straight shooter, no fuss, old-school kind of guy. His driving skills were questionable and he did not laugh at any of my jokes... but was impressed with Lucas, so we were happy enough with his help.

Day one Matt and I walked through fourteen houses. Guys... this was no easy feat and I'll say... we were exhausted! We walked through homes that were staged perfectly. They smelled like apple pie and a nothing was out of place. We walked through homes that were filthy and smelled like urine. We walked through old homes and newer homes. That being said, within two minutes of being in a home, Matt and I both knew if it was good for us or not. You just know.

The home that wasn't meant to be.

In the end we settled on two homes that would be fitting for us. Great yards, move-in ready, good square
footage, good layout (I'm big on ambiance and if the home doesn't have good "flow", it won't work for me) and workable kitchens. Both homes were in similar prices ranges, and after much debate we felt like we would put an offer on one of the homes. This particular home had great square footage, two baths, big bedrooms, two shops, nice landscaping and only five minutes from the University! And... it was greatly reduced in price, which almost guaranteed a small profit should we need to sell anytime soon.

Matt and I figured out our down payment options, made phone calls... organized our finances and prepared ourselves to make an offer. We were ready.

In the end we didn't put that offer on the house. It didn't feel right. The home was great, but financially Matt and I have concerted efforts to avoid biting off more than we should. It's not our values to have a home if it means living to pay a mortgage. This particular home was in the upper range of our monthly payment options and though we could afford it, it wasn't the right time.

Owning a home of our own sounds dreamy... down right lovely. The idea of settling in and really allowing the dust to settle sounds down right amazing. There are other things we value in addition to owning a home. Travel, education and continuing to pay down our student debt are just a few other very important values of ours, and if owning a home comes between those goals, then a home just doesn't feel worth it.

So... we're back at square one. At this point, we'll find a very modest rental and look at buying again in a couple months. Matt and I now have a familiarity with Muncie and a knowledge that can only be gained in spending twelve hours in the car with a realtor. We feel educated, and that is not a waste.

For now we'll seek out a rental and we could use some good vibes on that front. Your prayers will be gladly welcomed. Muncie is a college town (Ball State) and for obvious reasons, finding a rental that is both clean and reasonably priced feels nearly impossible.

Home ownership is something Matt and I feel ready for, but when we make that big jump we want it to be right. We're attempting to remain in wise counsel (thanks Dad) and keep a level head with our finances. It's easy to jump into the pool of "let's spend our money", but deep down that's not a value of ours. Maintaining who we are in the thick of this process is our goal and for now, we're hoping it's a success.

House Hunting

Tomorrow we head out to find ourselves a house! Muncie will be our new home in August and we're hoping to find a place to live that is cozy, comfortable and a healthy representation of who we are as a family!

Wish us luck!

Anxiety and Drunk Packing

Anxious feelings are right under the surface these days. Officially, we'll be on our way to Winona Shakespeare Fest in exactly a month. This feels very sudden and I find myself feeling like I have to have everything packed and prepared now... like tonight.

I recognize how silly this sounds, but for a person like me moving across state lines doesn't mean dumping everything in your car and "going for it". It means, carefully organizing and cleaning and putting things away. Then packing.

To be honest, it's all about control. Or at least the allusion of control.

See friends, we are headed to Winona, Minnesota for the month of June. Then Portland for July... then back to Salt Lake beginning of August. After all this lovely driving, we'll put all our prepacked boxes into a moving van and head to Indiana.

So yea... coordinating, organizing and having some sense of stability is a little bit important here.

So, this afternoon Lucas and I will go to Home Depot to buy boxes and supplies, grab dinner and come home to pack a bunch of stuff. There really is a system... maybe I'll share with guys sometime soon. My secrets... there are no secrets.

But seriously, being in control of your environment is a start. And then being a freak about organization and packing efficiently is key.

And tonight, I'll just rid myself of some of this anxiety by drunk packing*! Don't judge, people. It's a flawless system.


*Drunk Packing: Getting drunk on wine while preparing for a move. Individual is less apt to dwell on meaningless details and refer to efficient throwing of items into boxes, thus packing quickly. For more efficient packing see "Night Before Packing".

Greener Pastures

The cat's out of the bag...

We're moving to Muncie, Indiana in pursuit of greener pastures with Matt's job! It's safe to say the pastures will be greener than here in Utah, considering we live in the desert... but figuratively speaking, we're really eager to see the fruits of challenge and sacrifice pay off.

Matt's schedule here in Salt Lake City has been something terrible and we're hoping this new position with Ball State University will bring relief, and a newfound vigor in his career. So proud of my husband for pursuing the good life.

It brings tears to my eyes to imagine saying goodbye to our lovelies here in Salt Lake City. What a great city this is! We've had the wonderful gift of three years in this town and my pockets are full of the sweetest friends! It will be so difficult to leave.

So here we go! Give us a prayer as we gear up for some serious change. Mostly me, though. Let's be honest... Matt'll be fine.