It's small stuff that reminds me how grateful I should be. Key words: should, be. Why is it that I'm always seeking more? Why do I feel compelled to do more, be more, have more and see more? That word, more.
I bring this up because this weekend provided many reminders for me to check myself. Those reminders often cause me to stop for a moment and think about my life, my behavior and my thoughts. And typically within minutes, I go back to my life, my normal behavior and my typical thoughts. But this weekend provided two specific moments that changed my heart... hopefully forever.
The first was a small accident. Lucas fell off the front porch Friday evening and thankfully, it was a minor accident. Just a small head wound and lots of sadness on all sides. But for the first time, I envisioned our lives being forever changed by the harm or loss of our child. I cried all night out of guilt, hurt, and fear. The heaviness in my heart was a weight I had never experienced in such a way. Lucas appeared normal within minutes but we were concerned about a potential concussion, so we stayed up all night with him... constantly checking his breathing, moving him to make sure he woke up. He's fine. But I'm not sure I am.
Secondly, a friend from high school recently contacted me via Facebook and I learned that her hubby has cancer. It shook me up, somethin' fierce. This friend of mine has a kind heart, loves the Lord and seems to want nothing more than to have a family who is healthy and happy. It breaks my heart to know that painful things happen to kindhearted and loving people.
Who am I to want for more? Why am I so ungrateful? I should be ashamed of myself. I have a healthy, happy baby boy and prior to his accident, I think I took that for granted. I have a husband who loves me...really loves me and I argue with him about the dumbest stuff. I have friends who love me. I can worship the Lord anytime I want...without punishment.
I believe it's time for me to remember all I have to be thankful for. Every day. And to be content with the riches God has already bestowed on me. Be content. And pray for those who really need more.