30 Days Of Thanks - Day 28, Community

Today we had a friend come over and play for a little bit... and what a treasure he is! His Mamma brought him over while she went and had her hair cut and it was the highlight of my day!

That being said, she sent me a text this morning that said "Huds has a runny nose... are you still comfortable with him coming over?" Isn't she sweet? Of course I said, "Yes!"

To be fair, we're around kids all the time and seriously... I have a three year old. The child would lick an escalator at a moments notice. I'm not too worried about cold germs.

Perspective, people.

Anywho... when Katie came in the stress was evident on her face... and she continued to apologize and ask if it was still okay and how she felt like such a "bad mom"...

But really, it was okay. That Mamma needed to get out and get herself a haircut. Even thirty minutes of no baby can be SUCH a relief. I wanted that for her.

Poor Huds... he's definitely sick... sneezes and boogers and coughing. But don't all babies get sick? Don't they all cough and have boogers? Oh well...

He was precious. We snuggled, and laughed at the cat and chewed on everything (those things have been quarantined)! It was such a delight to rub those soft curls on his head while he drank his bottle and see him smile at me when we made eye contact.

Just... melts... my... heart.

Then Katie returned and I gave her snotty, sleepy little guy back to her. Assured her again, it was a treat. And who knows? Lucas or I may have a little cold to fight off this coming week... but it's inevitable. And frankly, I'd rather catch a cold from sweet, adorable little Hudson than an escalator any day.

Today, I'm thankful Katie allowed me to love on her precious little boy. I'm thankful Katie trusted me, went out on a limb and allowed herself to "burden" me with her snotty little man. Isn't that what we do in community... in family? We carry each other's burdens, willingly. And when it's willingly, it doesn't feel like a burden at all. It feels like a blessing... for all of us.

Bear one each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 27, Being A Stay At Home Mom

It goes without saying, the past week was a bit hellish (I'm being dramatic... no one died or lost a limb) for me and now that I've grown acclimated to the crazy* (being my child) I have a feeling things will improve. Hopefully my attitude improves. Because dang! I've been grumpy.

Anyway... today started rough (not enough sleep, I'm mad at my hubs job, my kid woke me up twice last night, I feel fat...) and my attitude was yet again, bad. But after some thought, prayer and a devotion (um... it's been awhile) I realized how so much of my attitude depends on my own willingness to shape up!

All of this thought came in a moment when I was folding clothes (which is one of the most common times I have epiphanies) and I mentally conversed with myself. It went like this:

"I'm SO glad I can finally get to this laundry."

"Yea... it'll be nice when it's done. There's nothing quite like lots of clothes to wear and nothing in the hamper. I love it!"

"... it's weird you like folding clothes."

"I know."

"I bet working mom's have a tough time getting all their laundry done."

"Yea... I'm so thankful I can do it all in one day. It would drive me nuts, otherwise."

"... I'm really thankful I'm a stay at home mom."

"WHAT!?"

"It's true."

"But you've been such a whiner..."

"I know. But this is nice... having a home life that is fresh, stable and thoroughly wonderful. I should be thankful for that."

So, that was my internal monologue. And in a moments flash I realized how truly wonderful this harried, chaotic, emotionally stressful job is... parenting. It's wearing me out and yet, filling me to the brim.

I value this and in turn, I should be thankful for it.


*I'm fairly certain "crazy" is going through a growth spurt, which almost always involves erratic emotions, wild bodily movements and refusal to cooperate.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 19, My Sanity

I realize just how late this post is. I mean, it's ten-fifteen and I'm literally laying in bed, writing this on my phone. Today was one helluva day!

It crossed my mind to write my "thankful" post various times throughout the day, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I have had such a poor attitude! In addition, to my bad attitude, my kid has sent my patience into the far reaches of space. I'm on my last nerve.

Instead of talking about something really specific, I think I'll keep my thanks simple today. Here goes:

- I'm thankful for my bed. It's a place of peace and rest (though it be short & interrupted).
- I'm thankful for Netflix. It gives a gal like me small escape in this crazy endless world of stay at home parenting.
- I am very thankful for the Internet...for obvious reasons. I'd be incredibly isolated without it.
- I'm thankful for coffee. Again, obvious reasons...but really, it keeps me on my toes when I'd much rather be taking a nap.

These things add volumes of sanity to my life. I have others, but these are what's keepin' it real tonight...and that, my friends is all that counts right now.

Crazy mom signing off... Until tomorrow, my lovelies!

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 18, Church

It's Sunday and fittingly enough, I am thankful for my church community. These people are pretty awesome and yes, flawed. Which makes them even more awesome. We're all living life... babies, singles, marrieds, youngs, middles, and olders... which I love!

I grew up in the "church"... which is a scale Christians use when describing the longevity of their faith in the the Protestant Church. There are people who've converted in their college years or even in their adult years... but then there is a certain demographic (like myself) who can describe their faith, upbringing and basic foundation of growth as "growing up in the church". Basically, it's been forever.

This is a beautiful thing, growing up with a faith-based community all around. But, it also comes with huge amounts of baggage. Ask anyone who grew up a Christian (any faith, for that matter), and they will tell you what they've "wrestled" with and had to overcome as an adult. Finding ones own faith, outside of your family unit, is often a tumultuous and difficult time to be had.

I struggled with the people who call themselves Christians... and if I'm being fully honest, I still struggle with those people. My upbringing was fairly legalistic, conditional and conservative. Not intentionally... my folks taught my sister and I that appearances were more important than the heart... and accidentally our hearts were lost in the shuffle.

Thanks be to God, but we found our way! Through my twenties I went through a "dry spell" and had no connections or church "family". I lacked a tight unit of Christian friends who could encourage my faith and understand my heart... and this left me feeling cracked and worn. But like every chapter in life, a dry spell allows us to identify what's really important and necessary to survive. In this dry spell, I found my own faith in Christ.

Adversity broke down barriers in my family, and we've overcome the angst that kept us emotionally distant. Honesty and tough conversations allowed us to be honest about who we are in the heart... good and ugly, we see it all. And it's refreshing. As a family we're candid...funky and weird... and open for affection with one another.

Through this healing, I have found repair in my own attitude and spirit toward church. Here in Salt Lake, we have a good group of peeps who really care for one another! This is what the Lord has called us to do and it's easy to share my heart with my friends here! There is little judgement and finger pointing, but tons of generosity. It's refreshing to share belief of Christ's gift of salvation with people are incredibly blessed with light hearts and joy. It's also quite refreshing to share the tough days, rough emotions and real struggles with these people. This community brings abundant freedom and love into my life, which is what Christ intended in his church... and for that I'm beyond thankful.

Colossians 3:14-16
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 17, Mom Friends

This morning I met up with a few of my lovelies for coffee. We all have varying lifestyles and are each very unique from one another... but when we get together, it's always a lot of laughing and great story telling.

Three of the four of us have kids. The fourth has recently been married but is surrounded by children... so she always chimes in with some good stories herself. We talk about things like how to keep a clean house (or attempt a clean house), how to raise our children to be functional and happy adults someday (i.e. no more pooping their pants) and we admit to things we're not exactly proud of (like forgetting to brush our teeth, even though we have makeup on... priorities people!)... but it's still always a good story.

I gotta admit... I am SO thankful for the women in my life who are honest, godly and vulnerable with one another. Being a woman in this world can be tough...we're complex, emotional and layered... which is a beautiful thing! But, being a wife, mother, homemaker, money maker, sister, and friend can get fairly complicated.

I can't imagine doing this without the women who tell those funny stories (like accidentally putting on two pair of underwear one day!), encourage each other and talking about how the Lord has blessed us with so many good things! Only the women who are "moms" in my life can truly understand what we're dealing with here... and sometimes misery (and joy) needs company.

Being a mom is hard! But having mom friends makes it all the easier!

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 16, Hot Showers

Welp... the weather is full on Winter here... and it's cold! I snuggle into the covers every morning, even though I can see the light peeking through the drapes. It's time to get up, but it's so chilly! There is snow on the ground, and the gravel makes that crunch sound it only makes when it's frozen. I find myself longing for sweaters and wraps to cover the bare parts in cozy comfort. And boots.

In the winter months there is only one thing that really warms me up, and it's hot water. I prefer a hot bath but in my adult years I'm learning a bathtub is something only fancy people have... and we, my friends, are not fancy. We've been graced with a shower the past couple years and that is my primary source of a warm up!

Let me just tell you... I am thankful for a hot shower. We are one of the few countries in the the World that have really hot showers (water heaters, I suppose) and if you've used showers in other areas of the World, you know what I'm talking about.

When Matt and I become interested in dating one another we happened to be in Brazil... at a camp for kids. This camp did not have warm cabins, nor did it have hot water. Every morning it was fog on the ground, damp cabins and a tepid shower. Brr. Not a very pleasant way to start your day.

I figured our home-stays would have hot water... I mean, these are real people living in real neighborhoods. Nope. Sandra had tepid water too. She told me that hot water costs too much, so no one heats their water up. What a disappointment!

Then I think about countries that don't even have water to shower in... major downer. Washing in a shower is a luxury in itself. Hot water is a special luxury. How luxurious we are!

Ahem...

I am a woman who loves her a hot shower... and in these winter months, I find myself unbelievably thankful for that hot steamy water coming out of the wall. It's a few minutes in my day where I can dream, plan and be alone (unless someone breaks in to use the toilet) with the hot water on my head.

Ahh.... feels so good.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 15, My Body

Today I am thankful for my body. I am thankful my body is healthy and strong.

With this body I can play with my little boy. I chase him around the house and run after him at the park. When he says, "Mommy come with me!" I follow him at a preschooler pace, which is always running. I am thankful I can sit with him on the floor and set up train tracks. I'm so thankful my body allows me to push toy trucks across the floor on my knees.

With my strong body I can serve others. It allows me to stand in the kitchen and make hot meals for those who are in need (including my own family!). This body helps me lovingly make beds, fold clothes and clean bathrooms. It allows me to serve my family in our home and others outside the home.

 I'm thankful my body can do fun things too! I enjoy my workouts...pushing, pulling, kicking, and jumping. These are a time during my day where I can be on my own, without distraction and worry (although I still think about my to-do list!). My body can go on bike rides, jogs and long walks...and as a mother, these are always therapeutic times.

I'm thankful my body can worship. I can lift my hands to the Lord in song, or clasp them in prayer. I can pray on my knees or sit in quiet meditation. My body allows me to close my eyes in focus or observe with a soft heart.

I am thankful this body of mine can give hugs, receive love and pass out tickles. It holds hands, plays footsie and scratches backs.  I am thankful I have a strong and healthy body to live out this life full of adventure fun and challenge.

What are the strongest parts of your body? Are you thankful for those parts?

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 14, Husband

Today... I'm publicly declaring how thankful I am for my husband, Matt. It seems cliche', but truth be told, I am incredibly thankful for who he is and who he strives to be. I tend to focus on the external aspects of Matt; the active parts of who he is... his job, his role as a husband and his activities with our son. It's so easy to be caught up in the way we serve one another, rather than the intent behind why we would serve in the first place.


Matt has always had a tender heart. As he ages, his heart has been calloused and rubbed rough... but when I stop and look at my husband I see that boyish heart. It's beating for the people he loves. It would willingly give up anything to save a loved one from pain or anguish. That heart still seeks righteousness and goodness in this rough and hard life.

Matt with our baby Lucas... 2009.

My husband is a "feelings" guy. With a tender heart comes a sensitive spirit and when Matt has the capacity, he recognizes feelings and emotions in others. Unlike many, Matt will put himself out there and ask what is wrong... ask if this person wants to talk about what is hurting ... he will open himself to vulnerability. This attribute of his is what initially attracted me toward him and eventually snagged me in for the long-haul. It's still what keeps us going some days.


Matt is committed. We've been married nearly nine years and in the duration of these years Matt has stuck with me through thick and thin. His honesty (though at times is tough to hear) is what has kept the air clear and potentially prevents baggage from creeping in. As a couple, we have our quirks... ups and downs... but at the end of the day commitment is what that brings us back together. This commitment reminds me of the love we have for one another.

There is so much more to be thankful for in this man I call my husband, but I will limit it to the above three: a tender heart, his ability to be in touch with his emotions, and his committed spirit. In marriage, we are familiar with the dark and rough parts of our partner... but focusing on the beauty enables a spirit of generosity and sensitivity toward this person we're called to protect, honor and serve.

What are you thankful for in your spouse? Who are they as a person and why does this make them special to you?

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 13, Holiday Ranting

Every day I title a post for this series I think to myself: "Is it seriously day (insert day here)!?" Where are the days and weeks going!? Goodness... we're almost halfway through November... and a week and a half until Thanksgiving.

Wait, what!? One week... and a half?

Oh gosh... so that means we're just nearly a month away from Christmas. WE'RE NEARLY A MONTH FROM CHRISTMAS!

So, I started my Christmas gifting today. Like... thinking about it....but really more like imagining the gifts I would create/buy/find for my friends and family. Yea... holy crappers! A month away!

Is it acceptable to give everyone jars of jelly beans?

Then I thought about how last week it was seventy degrees and the leaves were orange and I was hot... and today I had a runny nose, cold fingers and I was wearing that wonderful wool coat my mother in law gave me a few Christmases back.

Oh yea... Christmas. IS NEARLY A MONTH AWAY! And Thanksgiving is nearly a week away.

To be honest, I just love Thanksgiving... and I really love Christmas!

It'll be perfect...as long as I don't waste these days and weeks that I have left to prepare for my favorite holidays.

Better get to planning. And baking. And creating!

...and buying jellybeans. 

In spite of my angst for time slipping away, I absolutely ADORE the holidays. I couldn't look at the Christmas Story in the bookstore today without getting teary... and if I even imagine Christmas morning with all the sweets and hugs and giddiness, it inadvertently brings a smile to my face. I love the anticipation. I love the process of preparing.

As I figure out my dishes for this Thanksgiving (that we're spending with Miss Katie and her sweet family!), I hope to focus on the love and graciousness in my own life. I hope to focus on the meaning of Thanksgiving and be intentional about that. I hope to share the joy I've been given with those whom I care for deeply .

This week and next, let's be intentional about planning and yet be more intentional about why we plan.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 12 - The Grocery

I'll be honest, this post seems a little lame... but really, it isn't! Today I'm thankful for the grocery store. I often think about how lucky we are to have such diversity and choices in our produce, meat and dairy consumption! I mean, seasonally we have more than we deserve... and can you imagine if we only had the food we grew ourselves!? One farm cannot manage or own that much food!

In addition, I love food... a lot. So I love preparing for meals... lists, shopping, creating and finally... sharing and eating! It's such a treat to go to the store and choose food. I love the produce section the most... as it contains everything from dill to mangos! I imagine what I can cook with these fun items and if it's the right price, I buy it! So much fun!

Lastly, our grocery stores allow us to have nutritious, safe foods (mostly). We so very fortunate to have rules and guidelines that go along with selling food to ensure our safety... and it we're wise, we choose healthy, wise options. These options allow us to thrive with good health and sound minds.

Where do you shop for groceries? Do you realize just how lucky you are to have options, safety and fun in choosing and preparing your food?

Today... we should be thankful for our food and where our food comes from.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 10 & 11, Connection, Friendship and Play

At about noon today it suddenly ocurred to me... Ohmygosh I totally forgot my blog post for yesterday! I even have a reminder on my phone... what the heck?

So the day continued and now it's nearly nine in the evening and I'm posting. Finally.

All of that being said, it's been a great weekend... busy and full of fun with friends, and my two loves... Lucas and Matt (in case you were wondering). I sit here with a glass of wine, genuinely happy and feeling beyond blessed.

It's an interesting thing, how what would seem like the ordinary to some, is special to others. This weekend was special and pleasing to me, for multiple reasons. I had the opportunity to spend a morning with Erin... one of my favorites. And... here's the clincher... we left our kids at home! I believe it was the first time I've been shopping with Erin and neither of us had a kid with us. Let me tell you... it was WONDERFUL! We'll be doing that again, that's for sure.

This weekend was full of meaningful conversations with the hubs. I feel like I could devote a whole blog post to how special these conversations are to me. With the schedule the hubs keeps, we don't have a lot of time to devote to meaningful talk. Feelings and the heart are communicated in short moments, emails or emotional phone calls... resulting in "we'll talk about that later" or "I wish I could help" or "I'm sorry". Yes, I'm thankful that we're adopting healthy communication skills in tight circumstances, but really... I relish the weekends we have together to reconnect; to really talk it out.

This weekend was full of play. We had snow... a lot of it and it was delightfully cozy. I slacked off on housework, watched movies, ate too much food and snuggled a lot with my honies (again, Lucas and Matt). I took a nap and best of all, played in the snow! We wrestled, threw snowballs and ran around the yard like a bunch of kids... it was so fun! It was fun to see Matt and Lucas laugh... it was fun to be chased by my man and most of all, it was fun to be together.

I suppose it's easy to understand why I forgot to blog yesterday. I've been busy enjoying my family... and it's been splendid! On these days I find myself thankful for meaningful conversation... especially with my husband. In addition, I'm thankful for friendship... not only with Erin, but with so many other lovelies who brighten my days. And on top of all that, I'm thankful for play. As adults we so often forget to play. Playfulness brightens my spirit and lightens my load, and we can all use a little bit of that every so often.

Happy 30 Days Of Thanks, friends. This week, get out there and find some way to play... lighten your load and lift your spirit.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 9, Friday Nights

It's Friday! Woo-hoo!

Normally, I don't really care about Fridays because I'm a stay at home mother... and frankly, full-time moms don't get Fridays. I have the wonderful privilege of getting up at 6:30a on a Saturday morning and doing basically everything I do during every day of the week...breakfast, chores, playtime, naptime, dinner, reading, bedtime... you know. Some weekends are laced with fun stuff, but generally speaking... moms and dads don't get breaks.

But... tonight is a fun night. And this weekend is a fun weekend. Tonight is fun, because I am going out with the hubs and this weekend is fun, because Matt will be home!

Hooray! I'm thankful for Matt's line of work, being theater... because it gives us an opportunity every couple weeks to go out together. Yes, it's work. But it's work we can enjoy together... just the two of us. And it's theater!

We have a small handful of wonderful friends who are willing to spend their Friday night with Lucas... and Matt and I enjoy coffee, theater and drinks into the late night. It's divine... it's adult... and it's with my man!

I guess what I'm trying to say in this scattered post is that I'm thankful for the theater; I'm thankful for my husband and I'm thankful for the ladies who have been so kind to us by hanging out with Lucas for a night.

Now to go shave my legs!

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 8, Food

I'll admit it... I love food. I love delicious food, to be specific. I love food that is prepared for me... and I love to prepare food for myself and others.

To me, it seems logical that I should enjoy something my body needs to survive. I mean, we're supposed to eat every day to keep our bodies strong, healthy and functioning. And in this responsibility of feeding ourselves, we have opportunity to choose foods that are nourishing, beautiful and delicious. Why wouldn't we?

In this place we live, we are spoiled. We are the lucky. We have things many folks around the world do not. Our homeless have more food than some children in starving countries have... and this makes me sad to the core. How fortunate are we? What a gift we've been given... and we should not squander it.

Today I'm thankful for the fresh, delicious food I have been given. And instead of eating a bowl of cereal for dinner, I will make a meal to nourish my body and feed my soul. And before eating that food, I will thank the Lord for all he's given me... and I will pray for protection for the people who will be going without tonight.

Be thankful with me. And let's think of those who have little to be thankful for.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 7, Friends

Today I am thankful for my friendships. This is no light thing, people. I have been blessed with some pretty awesome folks in my life and even better, I've been blessed with friends I would consider sisters.

There is nothing sweeter than having a friend who listens to my complaints, and still treats me the same... knowing the complaints don't define my actual heart. There is nothing more precious than having a friend who understands the sadness that sometimes overtakes us. The friend who can laugh at me, and I know she's genuinely laughing with me. And the friend who has forgiven me, in spite of myself.

The thought of going through this life without close friends seems unbearable. Only having acquaintances seems bleak and cold... and meaningless. Friendship adds joy, depth and meaning to my days. I can honestly and fully recognize how lame my life would be without them.

I truly owe a large portion of my happiness to many of my dearest, loveliest and tender friends.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 6, Laundry

Happy day six, my friends! Oh! I have so much to be thankful for... but today is such a blah day, I'm struggling with feeling eloquent or clear-headed. Erg...

During my lunch with Lucas (we have lunch together every day) I was thinking about laundry... all the laundry I had this week.

So. Much. Laundry.

See...we had a bit of a lice scare late last week, so I pulled bedding and stuff off to launder. Then, Lucas decided he was going to soil about eighteen pair of underwear in two days (this is a whole 'nother post), so then yea... I have so much laundry to do.

Sigh...

But then I got to thinking...whoa! Imagine if I didn't have a washer and a dryer to use? What did women and men do before there was electric washers and dryers?! The thought of my weekly laundry chore in a pioneer day scene is daunting.

Imagine boiling water for all that laundry... and scrubbing (especially the poopy, pitty, and stinky stuff!)... and rinsing, and drying and pressing. Oh gosh...it would take me a week to do all this laundry!

It's no wonder being a stay at home mother was a serious full-time job back then! Can you imagine if no one did laundry? Or if both folks worked out of the home? Being a home maker was literally keeping the home together... literally.

This is day six and I am so very thankful for washing machines and dryers. I mean, really thankful.

30 Days Of Thanks: Day 5, Mornings

It's been five days of thanks, thus far... and I'd say I've seen small changes in my attitude, demeanor and overall outlook in these past five days. I'm grateful for the things that seems insignificant, I laugh easier and generally speaking, I'm just happier.

Isn't it funny how one small change can lay groundwork for larger growth and maturation?

So here we are.. day five.

Normally... I am fairly negative about Matt's job. It does two things: pay the bills and satisfy Matt's love of theater arts. Otherwise, it requires much more of all of us. Sacrifice, time, patience, health, emotions, our marriage, parenting... the list could go on...and I'm fairly certain we're not the only couple in this same boat. Matt's job, like most, is a huge burden in our lives, constantly asking more and more from everyone, all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful... but if I'm being really, really honest.. I'll admit that every year I become more resentful of this current situation we're in. And that's no path anyone wants to walk down.

In the past few days I've thought about all the reasons I SHOULD be thankful for Matt's current position. Instead of focusing on all that we have given up, I want to identify the reasons we have to be thankful; all the things we've gained. Yes, paying our bills is a HUGE reason to be thankful... and honestly sometimes that's enough... but if I'm being real, there are many other factors of thankfulness to be had.

One of the biggest reasons I'm thankful for Matt's job is the fact that he doesn't go into work until ten... sometimes eleven in the morning. This seems small, but actually it's huge! Matt's work keeps him out late in the night and working weekends. He misses things, like evening walks, playing before bedtime, weekend hikes and general family hangout times. But, we have our mornings.

I take for granted that I share a cup of coffee with my husband nearly every morning. Most mornings, we all have breakfast together... and Lucas watches cartoons with Matt on the couch. We have time to talk about stuff (although in the morning there always seems to be less to discuss) and plan for the times Matt does have off. Mornings are just good dream time... time to talk like a couple.

And in being thankful for these mornings, I realize I should be taking advantage of them more often. I should drag all of us out of bed earlier and actually go for those walks! I should plan bigger breakfasts and better morning cartoon times! I should ask Matt to go on a morning date with me sometime. I should snuggle a little bit longer.

In spite of the weirdness and missing out we experience with Matt's career, we have much to be thankful for. We have our mornings together. I know some couples are up and out the door at six and for us that almost never happens. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to begin my days with my husband, even if I can't always end them with him.

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 4, Kids

Church this morning was... challenging. Only because I was with the kiddos... the toddlers, to be specific. And normally this isn't a problem, but today we had a lot of kids in a smaller than normal space. Sigh... by the time church was over, my brain was fried, my patience tried and quite frankly I felt a little emotional about the whole thing.

In spite of the challenges, I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed connecting with one of our little girls who honestly, has a tough time connecting. I enjoyed ripping pages out of a coloring book for three little boys who seem to love The Sesame Street. One of my favorite times this morning was seeing each child lost in play. At one point, all eight of our little toddlers were content as they played together or with a toy of their own. I could see they too were happy.

There is something wonderful about toddlers... even the gnarly ones... because they're one hundred percent unafraid to be themselves. There is an honesty, a truthfulness and a rudeness I love. They don't put on aires, they don't act polite because "it's the right thing to do" and their personalities are exactly they way they're meant to be... exactly the way they were intended. I love that honesty.

And almost every toddler can swing from sass to sweet in ten seconds flat. I like that too... keeps me on my toes!

And so... today I am so very thankful for the little toddlers and babies at our church. They bring an honesty and vulnerability that we as adults often avoid. They reveal our weakness and our strengths as parents, friends and community. Toddlers don't expect us to be perfect, beautiful, smart or put together. They want to play, talk, sing and roll around on the floor... they want to connect and be seen. They want to be heard and feel validated... just like us!

In my community of faith I want to be heard, validated and seen too. I want my feelings to matter and I want folks who share my community to feel that way too! I want them to know they matter to me... they matter to the Lord. No one need to concern themselves with being attractive, popular or intellectual... having money, a nice home, and fancy clothes isn't what matters. It's the connection, the vulnerability.... the honesty that matters.

So let's take a tip from our toddlers and be gnarly, honest and authentic with one another. Let's share life together and connect on a heart level.

"Let the little children come to me (Jesus), and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
Mark 10:14-15 

30 Days Of Thanks: Day 3, The Sun

The sun on my face is one my most blessed sources of joy in life. Simple and trite as it may seem, the sun brings immense emotional and mental warmth to my self... keeping me from depression, sadness and seasonal lows.

Being a person who spent the majority of her childhood, adolescence and young adulthood in the Northwest, I am familiar with the dark and damp that can bring a person down. It's the overhanging, looming, constant state of cozy... which for some is cathartic and relaxing. For others it evokes feelings of heaviness, dreariness and general blah. I'm one of those others... and I didn't even realize this was the case until...

...moving to Salt Lake City. I noticed weeks had gone by without cloudiness or days of rain... and how much joy filled my heart! I noticed how productive I had been and when I sat in the car.. even on the coldest of days... how the sun came through the windows and warmed my skin, creating happiness in my very core. I love the sunshine!

Yes... I'm affected by the weather. And yes, my joy and happiness can be altered by the weather. And yes, I'm okay admitting that. Because some days the only thing that truly snaps me out of my head is the realization that the sun is shining and being a girl from Portland, that's an awesome thing!

So today, if you can... go stand outside or in a window and let the sun penetrate your heart. Let it soak in and be thankful that we have the sun. It oversees everything and truly, without the sun there are no flowers. I'd like to consider myself a flower... brighter and more colorful when I've had the sun on my face.

Are you thankful for the sun, rain, snow or clouds? Do you find your personality radiating more brightly with a particular type of weather?

30 Days Of Thanks: Day 2, Raking

As I was raking leaves it came to mind that I had a bit of an attitude regarding the whole thing. My mental conversation went like this:

I really want to do this... it'll be so nice when everything is tidy.

Yes! It will make Jeremy and Emily so happy... maybe after all the leaves have fallen it will be less work in the end.

Twenty minutes pass...

Argh... this is taking longer than I thought.  And my back is beginning to ache.

If I have to tell Lucas to stay out of the leaf piles one more time... he's gonna get it!

That child will NOT follow directions.

Why am I doing this?

Now that I've started, I can't just leave it.

What the heck, why do I have such a bad attitude?

Maybe I'm selfish. Yes... I'm selfish. I always end up complaining... this damn bad attitude of mine!

Why am I doing this again?

Oh yea... because it needs to be done.

Because I like being outside.

Because it will make Jeremy and Emily happy.

Because I like being busy.

Why I am so grumpy?

I dunno.

Okay. Let's not be grumpy anymore.

Cool. I'll be thankful instead.

Thankful for what?

Thankful that I have the time to rake leaves for the people I love... who don't have the time.

Thankful it's not raining and not too hot. The weather is perfect today!

Thankful we have a yard to rake... a yard Lucas is running amok in right now. A yard to just be himself in.

Thankful I'm getting exercise. Thankful I can rake... thankful I have arms, legs and a strong back.

Thankful I get to eat a big lunch, because I'm STARVING from all this raking.

After this inner monologue I realized just how easy it is for me to slip into selfish self-talk. Does that make sense? How often do I revert back to my own selfishness... and how often does that turn into thanklessness? And thanklessness then turns into resentment and anger... only poisoning my own heart.

Today, I'm thankful for leaves. And raking. And Jeremy and Emily. And their yard. And my brat of a kid who kept messing up the leaves... 'cause he's kinda cute. Even when he's being a squirt.

What are you thankful for today?

30 Days Of Thanks: Day 1, Autumn

So here we are... the first day of November. Can you believe it!? Where the heck did October go? It flew by, that's for sure.

And now that we're in full blown Autumn, I find myself enjoying this season to it's fullest. It's a season of homey warmth and snuggling. A season of baking, raking and heavy blankets. Oh! It's bliss.

I am thankful for this season as it reminds me of myself in so many ways. I am a person who longs for warmth and security. I seek relationships that are warm, personal and intimate...constantly hoping for connection and bonds that bring worth to this life we're living together. In these bonds, I find security and I am reminded that we were not intended to live alone... to operate without companionship and the ties of friendship. 

And in these friendships, I see God. I see the Lord's love in the compassion of a friend. I see the Lord's grace in the brokenness of my own heart. And I see a glimpse of Heaven when I'm with a group of friends who can laugh together; I mean, really laugh. That joy is the closest to Heaven we can get some days. 

So in this season of Autumn I am thankful for the season itself. I am thankful for my friendships, and I am thankful for the Lord's grace in the crazy hard life we're living. 

Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Romans 12:10

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-22

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it the gift of God...
Ephesians 2:8