It's been five days of thanks, thus far... and I'd say I've seen small changes in my attitude, demeanor and overall outlook in these past five days. I'm grateful for the things that seems insignificant, I laugh easier and generally speaking, I'm just happier.
Isn't it funny how one small change can lay groundwork for larger growth and maturation?
So here we are.. day five.
Normally... I am fairly negative about Matt's job. It does two things: pay the bills and satisfy Matt's love of theater arts. Otherwise, it requires much more of all of us. Sacrifice, time, patience, health, emotions, our marriage, parenting... the list could go on...and I'm fairly certain we're not the only couple in this same boat. Matt's job, like most, is a huge burden in our lives, constantly asking more and more from everyone, all the time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful... but if I'm being really, really honest.. I'll admit that every year I become more resentful of this current situation we're in. And that's no path anyone wants to walk down.
In the past few days I've thought about all the reasons I SHOULD be thankful for Matt's current position. Instead of focusing on all that we have given up, I want to identify the reasons we have to be thankful; all the things we've gained. Yes, paying our bills is a HUGE reason to be thankful... and honestly sometimes that's enough... but if I'm being real, there are many other factors of thankfulness to be had.
One of the biggest reasons I'm thankful for Matt's job is the fact that he doesn't go into work until ten... sometimes eleven in the morning. This seems small, but actually it's huge! Matt's work keeps him out late in the night and working weekends. He misses things, like evening walks, playing before bedtime, weekend hikes and general family hangout times. But, we have our mornings.
I take for granted that I share a cup of coffee with my husband nearly every morning. Most mornings, we all have breakfast together... and Lucas watches cartoons with Matt on the couch. We have time to talk about stuff (although in the morning there always seems to be less to discuss) and plan for the times Matt does have off. Mornings are just good dream time... time to talk like a couple.
And in being thankful for these mornings, I realize I should be taking advantage of them more often. I should drag all of us out of bed earlier and actually go for those walks! I should plan bigger breakfasts and better morning cartoon times! I should ask Matt to go on a morning date with me sometime. I should snuggle a little bit longer.
In spite of the weirdness and missing out we experience with Matt's career, we have much to be thankful for. We have our mornings together. I know some couples are up and out the door at six and for us that almost never happens. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to begin my days with my husband, even if I can't always end them with him.