Friday, November 02, 2012

30 Days Of Thanks: Day 2, Raking

As I was raking leaves it came to mind that I had a bit of an attitude regarding the whole thing. My mental conversation went like this:

I really want to do this... it'll be so nice when everything is tidy.

Yes! It will make Jeremy and Emily so happy... maybe after all the leaves have fallen it will be less work in the end.

Twenty minutes pass...

Argh... this is taking longer than I thought.  And my back is beginning to ache.

If I have to tell Lucas to stay out of the leaf piles one more time... he's gonna get it!

That child will NOT follow directions.

Why am I doing this?

Now that I've started, I can't just leave it.

What the heck, why do I have such a bad attitude?

Maybe I'm selfish. Yes... I'm selfish. I always end up complaining... this damn bad attitude of mine!

Why am I doing this again?

Oh yea... because it needs to be done.

Because I like being outside.

Because it will make Jeremy and Emily happy.

Because I like being busy.

Why I am so grumpy?

I dunno.

Okay. Let's not be grumpy anymore.

Cool. I'll be thankful instead.

Thankful for what?

Thankful that I have the time to rake leaves for the people I love... who don't have the time.

Thankful it's not raining and not too hot. The weather is perfect today!

Thankful we have a yard to rake... a yard Lucas is running amok in right now. A yard to just be himself in.

Thankful I'm getting exercise. Thankful I can rake... thankful I have arms, legs and a strong back.

Thankful I get to eat a big lunch, because I'm STARVING from all this raking.

After this inner monologue I realized just how easy it is for me to slip into selfish self-talk. Does that make sense? How often do I revert back to my own selfishness... and how often does that turn into thanklessness? And thanklessness then turns into resentment and anger... only poisoning my own heart.

Today, I'm thankful for leaves. And raking. And Jeremy and Emily. And their yard. And my brat of a kid who kept messing up the leaves... 'cause he's kinda cute. Even when he's being a squirt.

What are you thankful for today?

2 comments:

  1. That kid. Too cute.

    I do this all the time. My good intentions somehow go sour and I become internally hateful about ridiculous things (like doing the dishes, or grocery shopping, or taking my damn dogs outside only to have Franny roll around in pee mud).

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  2. I LOVE this. What a great example of turning a lousy situation into a moment to give thanks. Thank you for this Bethany!!!

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