Life Is

Life has been challenging the past couple weeks. It's the normal trials of living... our maniacal child, who never ceases to test us... money woes... car troubles... regular adjustments with easing into Matt's work year... and compound all of those things with my heart feeling left out of a really special moment in my closest friends' life. She had a baby.

So life is. It does this thing it does... gets complicated and messy and emotional. And this is when I attempt to find stability in my environment (I've been working on the whole "focusing on God" thing too...but let's be honest...).

These are the days when I iron all the hub's shirts, when I tuck the sheets in as if they were freshly washed... these are the days when I dust all the surfaces and make everything look pretty... because frankly, things really aren't pretty right now.

I know this is who I am. When life gets messy and out of control... I attempt to clean up and control what I can. For me that's my environment... my surroundings. I rein in the loose fragments, organize the cubbies and straighten the books on the shelf.

It brings a sense of sanity... a sense of ease. It reminds me that life isn't completely out of control...out of whack. It reminds me that the sun will set and rise again and just as the dust settles, new challenges will arise...if I can just weather these challenges.

I am reminded that in the moments when I feel I'm losing, I have much to gain. Though it's difficult to see in the midst of trial, the gain will add measures to my life. And in my disappointment I have an opportunity to find joy. Joy is all around us... I just have find the disappointment, peel it back and let the Lord reveal that joy.

Today is one of those days...when I need to peel back the disappointment and focus on the joy.

...and maybe eat a few Oreos too!