Monday, October 29, 2012

Post Trip Sadness

Tomorrow will mark two weeks I've been back in Salt Lake City... and I just couldn't bring myself to blog about it. Not sure why... I have a few ideas, but really can't put my finger on it.

Generally speaking, it's been a tough transition for me to assimilate myself back into Utah life. I have great friends, an awesome church, a loving husband and frankly, I really like this town. But... I still find myself irrationally emotional about leaving my friends and family behind in Oregon.

Anyway, I'm moving forward and forcing myself to interact with people... which is actually nice, because I like them. What a lot of people don't really know about me is when I'm sad or depressed, I prefer to isolate myself. I hide. I cry a lot. It's pathetic, really.

So I force myself to be outgoing...needy... call it what you will.

I just wish I could put my finger on why I'm so damn pathetic this time around. And why I can't seem to pull myself together. When I think about potentially going back to Portland for Christmas, it just sounds too painful to leave again. How sad is that!?

So here I am... a whiner who is obviously so unself-aware (is that even a word!? that I can't fix myself. Please forgive me for the lack of blogging and now probably blogging too much about my feelings and ish like that.

Bear with me, people. It's a process.

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