A Full Heart

We are three weeks out from our Epic Summer Road Trip and I find myself becoming increasingly more emotional about leaving Salt Lake City.

At the communion table Sunday morning Matt thanked God for the beautiful relationships we have here. Against my will, tears sprang from my eyes and I could not allow myself to think of all we're giving up.

We have a beautiful community of friends and loved ones! Why are we leaving?!

It's amazing how ungrateful I am until I realize I'm going to lose the wonderful. Suddenly, I'm so grateful I want to take all the wonderful with me.

It's shameful how I don't appreciate the friendships, the weather, the home we live in, the grocery stores... the normal. I can see plain as day how I took all of this for granted.

Except the weather, because I love the weather here. I talk about how great it is all the time.

The relationships I have here are priceless. I'm not glorifying them, because now we'll be separate and I can forget all the weird, gnarly stuff and only remember the good times. Ironically, my friends have seen the weird and gnarly in me and still claim to love me.

Not sure why... but they do.

My friend Katie who will go to Target just to grab a coffee and chat while we wander through the store with our loud kids. Emily who lets my kid throw rocks at her kids and doesn't bat an eye when he accidentally stomps on her flowers. Erin who will drive 45 minutes with her two kids to see me and speak love into my life. Haley who will call me out on my ish any day, any time... and still make me laugh with her real-to-life sense of humor. Amanda is a friend who is tender, laughs at my jokes and lets my kid shoot Nerf guns inside her house. Josie who doesn't think it's weird when I kiss her newborn as if he were my own.

There are so many who are light and love and compassion and all that good stuff that makes a wonderful friend... so many who have prayed for me, loved me, spent time with me, spoken wisdom into my life and seen me change over the course of three years.

The only thing I can be is grateful. Grateful I have had this opportunity to be changed and molded by these beautiful women. Women who have lightened the load, made me laugh and warmed my heart in only the way a friend can. I've learned more about what it looks like to be a friend, and with a full heart I'll take all these things into the next chapter of my life.