Monday, May 20, 2013

Marriage and Moving

Guys... there is one thing that can be said to be true about moving: It will stress your marriage.

Gracious! Where do I start?

Moving is stressful all on it's own, especially when you're planning on a move halfway across the country.  Matt and I tend to be team oriented... at least in thought... but when it comes to actually executing a task, we approach everything differently.

I sweep a room. As I finish packing up boxes, I clean up a space or a surface and consider it done. I can look at a room or a space and consider it "finished".

Matt spreads out, creates piles and packs with organized chaos. It kills me. He has a system... I know he does! Unfortunately, his system does not compute with me. I cannot understand it.

Right now, I speak a different language than Matt does. I speak emotion. I want to cry and yell and act out my feelings... rather than talk about them. I am challenged with the inability to control my emotions.

Matt has logic and reason. He does not understand my volatility and wants to talk me down (or run away). I imagine he is thinking: "Why can't Beth just make the most of this? Why is she being so negative?"

There are other stress factors like time constraints, obligations before leaving, spending time with loved ones and actually preparing for the road trip. How does one balance all of this and maintain a peaceful marriage?!

It seems impossible.

The part of me that wants to bless our marriage knows that I need to tone down the emotions. I need to ease up on control. I need to communicate my emotional needs to my husband so he can hear and respond like the good person he is. And in the end, we can really be triumphant and consider this a win.

And still be married.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there... I think I block out how horrifying moving is and then in the midst of the process I will be all, "OH. RIGHT. This is beyond awful." Be easy on yourself.