Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Part Who Loves Mom

Being a mother, waking up on Mother's Day is always a treat. Especially this year. Lucas is three (almost four) and completely aware of the celebration. He wakes up, yell-whispers to Matt... "DAD! WAKE UP! IT'S MOTHER'S DAY! I WANT TO MAKE BREAKFAST FOR MOM!"... and then places a neatly wrapped present on my face. Normally, I'd be so annoyed and probably say something like: "Lucas, seriously!?" But this morning, I am proud, with a full heart and I respond with a: "Thank you honey!" 

Mother's day has taken on a whole new light for me... now that I'm fully immersed in motherhood.

The same can be said for viewing motherhood and the other mother's in my life. Specifically, my own mother.

My Mom, Judy. There is no statement that can sum her up. She is an anomaly, special in her own right and constantly keeping people on their toes. So often I find myself saying: "THAT WOMAN!" I'm positive I'm not the only person who has muttered this statement in frustration, surprise or humor. She is unique, not concerned about social norms or other people's feelings.

As an impressionable teen and young woman, this was a problem. And in full honesty, my mother and I have had our tension. There have been rough times in our relationship. Times of angst, fear, independence, and being a woman.

Years went by and I grew, matured, found some wisdom hiding in the corners of my heart, had a baby, turned thirty, was married nearly ten years and something blossomed inside of me. All of a sudden, I realized I no longer harbored the feelings I had before for my mother. I no longer blamed her, or held her responsible for my emotional failures. I could no longer point that finger of judgement.

It's as if my heart were a beautiful flower and as I grew into a grown woman, this flower opened and was finally able to feel the sun on it's petals. The warmth encouraging it to open further, revealing so much beauty inside.

Without reconciliation, I would not have seen this beautiful part of myself. The part who loves Mom.

As I venture into these parts of my life; Mother, wife, friend; I can see how my Mom has influenced who I am. How she has shaped the parts of my personality, character and heart to be quite alright.

I may not be crazy like my Mom, but I am outgoing. My fearless approach toward people has been a huge blessing, as I do not want for friends. I am surrounded by eclectic, loving, unique people...all of whom I would not be influenced by on a daily basis.

Mom loves God... and she's unabashedly honest about her faith...with anyone. I've been that kid who stands awkwardly to the side as Mom "witnesses" to a grocery clerk. Seriously, people. These were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, but they taught me to be unafraid of my faith. To fully claim what I hold on to and if it's working for me, why wouldn't it work for someone else. Mom taught me to share my heart with others, as it often brings peace into the lives of those who need it most.

My Mom is a fun mom. She taught me that laughter, funny stories and goofiness can happen anywhere, anytime. I take that into consideration at all times. Life is tough, full of disappointment and heartache... why not handle some of that with a little humor. It's safe to say Mom's humor is what got me through and still gets me through the day to day of life.

Mom is honest. Brutally honest. She talks about her feelings, a lot. I value this... and though I've had to tweak it a little bit, I find myself being honest like Mom. It's liberating and clears the air. It creates a clean slate and relationships that are built on truth.

We live among a generation who strives to break the mold, be different, and leave our generational hangups behind. In this time, we forget that everything we have... life itself!... is owed to our mother and father. My personality, my heart and my spirit are a mirror of my mother. I can see the sacrifice, the love, the commitment she made for me... and on this mother's day, all I can do is be thankful for the impression she has on me.

I love you Mom! Happy Mother's Day!!

Grandma and Mom. Love.

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