Saturday, August 01, 2009
As of this past Thursday, Lucas was two weeks old. We just can't believe how fast the days fly by as he grows and acquires new characteristics moment by moment. He is nearly ten pounds and is sleeping about five hours a night. Our boy is big! In addition, he's flexing his legs and already holding his own head up. I was not anticipating any of these moves for another couple weeks. I figure this is normal behavior for babies who are born nearly two weeks late and have a large birth-weight. Matt & I are surviving. Matt has been very busy with work and side-jobs. He's home in the mornings, but often has to work on his projects instead of hanging out with Lucas and I. Still, when he comes home late in the evening, he's always ready and willing to take baby boy and offer me a kind break. It touches my heart... Matt will hold Lucas and they just stare at each other for the longest time. I chock it up to early male bonding time. I am doing just fine. I am physically feeling very well and nearly completely healed from giving birth. I was not expecting to bounce back this quickly, but I suppose being in shape during pregnancy, breast feeding and general good health have contributed to nearly all baby weight lost and the ability to jump right back into things without hesitation. I have much to be thankful for. It makes it all the easier to care for Lucas when I feel well physically. Emotionally, I am also doing very well. I feel fragile... like the tears are ready to spring forth should anything sappy, frustrating or touching enter my mind. I get misty when Lucas is inconsolable, Matt tells me he loves me or I think about just how precious our baby boy is... just writing this makes me want to cry. But... I do my best to control it. Other than the tear-jerker moments, I am quite well. I feel very positive and have much to look forward to. So far, no serious postpartum blues. Again, I have much to be thankful for. As Matt and I continue to get the hang of being parents, we continue to reflect about the future and our current status. There is a part of both of us that admits our sadness in willingly giving up the independence and freedom of our life prior to a child. Everything is a bit more complicated now and though I assume it won't always be this challenging... we have knowingly given a part of our own selfishness away in order to experience the gift of a child. We talk about how things will continue to change. For example, no more cursing, radio stations will have to be censored, movies will need to be sifted through and so on. As each day passes, Matt and I evolving mentally and emotionally and having to realize just how much our lives are going to continue to change with the development of this little person.