Friday, September 07, 2012

Proof Of The Amazing

After my post about Lucas' behavioral/toddler/preschooler issues... and by issues I mean, completely normal child who happens to have the personality of his mother plus a little devil inside... I thought it'd be nice to share a few things we're dealing with here. Maybe some of you can relate. Some of you can scoff and others of you can be thankful you have a passive, darling, cherubim of a child.

Here goes.

Disclaimer: Most of these things end in some form of consequence... so don't judge me as a mother, you hear! 
  • Lucas will turn anything into a gun. Paper towel roll, vacuum hose, Legos, his hand, foot... you name it. Then... that gun is pointed at my face when he's not happy with MY behavior. 
  • Lucas will turn anything into a laser. See above.
  • Lucas will run and head-butt various parts of my body. In particular, he enjoys ramming my pelvis which typically results in pain and watery eyes... then rage.
  • Lucas will crumble whatever he's eating up into tiny pieces... and then ask for more, because he's still hungry.
  • Lucas refused to eat his food... then ask for more, because he's hungry.
  • Lucas will pause the movie we're watching... then get mad because he wants to finish it.
  • Lucas will destroy train tracks we've just laid... then demand I put them back... and then destroy them again. 
  • Lucas will go to the potty on his own... unless I'm within five feet of the bathroom... then he "needs help"
  • Lucas will pee his pants if I do not help him with above problem.
  • Lucas has been known to put his finger in his own booty... then disclaim that "it's stinky!"
  • Lucas will pick a boogie, demand someone get him a tissue and when tissue arrives, the boogie is gone... lost in the carpet.
  • Lucas demands we video chat with loved ones... once the chat is set up, he leaves after about thirty seconds.
  • Lucas will threaten to put me in the naughty chair.
  • Lucas will demand full attention while I am on the phone... even though he was completely ignoring me five minutes before that.
  • Lucas will dismantle anything... including expensive equipment.
  • Lucas has inserted magnets and other random objects into the DVD slot on our iMac.
  • Lucas enjoys going into the bathroom and waving his hand in front of the auto soap dispenser... and dispensing a lot of soap.
  • While on the toilet, Lucas will pull a long line of toilet paper and jam it between his legs into the toilet...without ever wiping anything off.
  • Lucas has threatened to "punch me in the face"
  • Lucas repeatedly chases the cat (and dog) with toys that have wheels.
  • Lucas then asks: "Kitty mad?"
  • Lucas will sneak lotion onto his hand, and then wipe it in my hair.
  • Lucas resists a shower... then resists getting out of the shower.
  • Lucas will ask for a snuggle... then ask to be tickled... then jump down and run away screaming. I love this!
 So there are some wonderful moments we've shared in the past few weeks. This is just a snippet and yes, I realize how negative this appears... but really it's amusing. And... I only hope to be able to reference this particular post when my child is an adult and I have proof of how amazing of a child he was!


  1. Well, you can just tell him that I will send Violet over and she will punch HIM in the face! Being so rude to his mama! Sheesh. (I think Violet is the one of my children most apt to be willing to punch someone in the face if I asked her. Many days I probably wouldn't have to ask her, actually.)

    Hang in there, Beth. These can be tough years. For my older two, I thought that age 2 wasn't bad at all; it was ages 3 and 4 that were more challenging. By the time Grace was pushing her 5th birthday, she was starting to become easier to talk through things logically with and she had more self-control. I don't get the reputation of the terrible 2s; there is still so much baby and sweetness in them then. I find age 3 harder.

    Here is evidence that we are not alone in thinking this. Friend? OR ENEMY?!

  2. Oh Julia... that is so funny! That girl, Violet, is a spitfire for sure! She doesn't take shizz from anyone... and I love that sass of hers!

    Your book advice is good. I'll have to look into it... because some days I don't know if I can survive/parent/succeed through a year of this!

    Thanks for being such a good friend... full of good advice and wisdom... and strength! You're a keeper, Julia!