It's important to stay positive... for multiple reasons. My main reason for attempting to focus on the positive... even when things are dubious... is to trick myself. It's not that bad, right?
But here I am... admitting that things are really, really hard. Things with the child, that is. As many of you know, Lucas has been and continues to be a child who is independent, silly and irrationally headstrong. I believe my parents called me "willful AND strong willed"... which would define Lucas to a tee, except he's the boy version of that. And that my friends, is a whole 'nother game.
I had no illusions that year three would be any easier than year two... because frankly we're taking less naps, talking more and a larger child... and all three of those things combined can lead to a lot of ugly. But... I kinda thought we'd be dealing with more rational thinking and reasonable thought process. Clearly I was wrong.
It ebbs and flows... some days are only kinda challenging... others are beyond my wildest imagination. I believe this is God's way of giving us little breathers... so we can cool down only long enough to gain strength to get back in the game.
Here's the thing. I love Lucas... so... much. Which is why I think this is such a painful time for me (I imagine adolescence being even more difficult emotionally). I discipline and do the hard work with the child because I love him and want him to be a functional, joy-filled person. But that discipline can be wearing. At times I question how or when we discipline, but at the end of the day I can't imagine our wild child without boundaries. He'd for sure be a wild boy and eventually, a wild man! We can't have that.
It's one of those things that no one can fix for you... it won't go away... we just have to push through and by the grace of God get through it... and be better for it. It's hard and it's rough and it's real... and I may be grayer, wrinklier and more beat down than ever... but these years will also bring bonding, growth and depth (here's hoping) in all of us.
So... I've got that off my chest. I don't want anyone to have any illusions that Lucas is this dream-child who is... um... so dreamy. He's a sweetheart, but is full of spit and vinegar! It's important to stay honest (I really appreciate moms who share the crazy that goes on in their house), but at the same time, it's important to stay positive. Otherwise, things are gonna get ugly 'round here!