Friday, September 07, 2012

Spit And Vinegar

It's important to stay positive... for multiple reasons. My main reason for attempting to focus on the positive... even when things are dubious... is to trick myself. It's not that bad, right?

But here I am... admitting that things are really, really hard. Things with the child, that is. As many of you know, Lucas has been and continues to be a child who is independent, silly and irrationally headstrong. I believe my parents called me "willful AND strong willed"... which would define Lucas to a tee, except he's the boy version of that. And that my friends, is a whole 'nother game.

I had no illusions that year three would be any easier than year two... because frankly we're taking less naps, talking more and a larger child... and all three of those things combined can lead to a lot of ugly. But... I kinda thought we'd be dealing with more rational thinking and reasonable thought process. Clearly I was wrong.

It ebbs and flows... some days are only kinda challenging... others are beyond my wildest imagination. I believe this is God's way of giving us little breathers... so we can cool down only long enough to gain strength to get back in the game.

Here's the thing. I love Lucas... so... much. Which is why I think this is such a painful time for me (I imagine adolescence being even more difficult emotionally). I discipline and do the hard work with the child because I love him and want him to be a functional, joy-filled person. But that discipline can be wearing. At times I question how or when we discipline, but at the end of the day I can't imagine our wild child without boundaries. He'd for sure be a wild boy and eventually, a wild man! We can't have that.

It's one of those things that no one can fix for you... it won't go away... we just have to push through and by the grace of God get through it... and be better for it. It's hard and it's rough and it's real... and I may be grayer, wrinklier and more beat down than ever... but these years will also bring bonding, growth and depth (here's hoping) in all of us.

So... I've got that off my chest. I don't want anyone to have any illusions that Lucas is this dream-child who is... um... so dreamy. He's a sweetheart, but is full of spit and vinegar! It's important to stay honest (I really appreciate moms who share the crazy that goes on in their house), but at the same time, it's important to stay positive. Otherwise, things are gonna get ugly 'round here!


  1. Oh Beth I love your honesty! I'm pretty sure that Jackson and Lucas could not be more alike. The irrational fits and disagreements make me want to pull my hair out most days. While I do appreciate my child's wanting of independence I just want to scream at him when I have to turn off a light I just turned on just so HE can turn it on...UGH! The changing of his mind 100+ times back and forth between activities and the constant battles makes me want to lock myself in a closet!
    I'm right there with you friend...

    1. Elisabeth... there really isn't anything as cathartic as mothers who share each other's pains. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat too! Hang in there...

      And...I hope the transition of moving hasn't disrupted your family too much.

      Thinking of you!

  2. It all depends on the day, hour, and minute in our house. One minute I can be amazed at how well behaved Liam is being, and literally the next he's lying on the floor kicking and screaming.

    The most embarrassing is public fits. I'm sure all the restaurant patrons staring and whispering think they could do a better job at raising Liam then I can.

    I even had an old lady at Panda Express yell at Liam, telling him to be quiet. Yes, my kid had a moment of loudness, but common... It's only Panda Express. It took all I had to not chew her out. I chose the killing with kindness approach instead.

    All children are spirited in some way, but many seem to magnify it. You're just one of those moms who gets an especially spirited child. This doesn't mean you and Matt are doing anything wrong in your parenting. It's all in Lucas' genetics.

    You were a spirited child yourself, and look at the lovely woman of God you are now. All you can do is pray for strength to get through this day, hour, or even minute. Eventually you'll see the fruit of your labor.

    I love you lady, and pray for the ebbs and flows in your life.

    1. Thanks Anna! I know having boys definitely makes things more "special"... although I'm not sure that's true across the board, but for us it is!

      And you're right! Some day our boys will be strapping young men, with hearts of gold... and lots of enthusiasm.

      I look forward to seeing those days ahead.

      I love you too and thank you for the encouragement.