Thursday, August 29, 2013

Challenge, Development And Growth

Clearly I've been avoiding the whole blogging bit. It's unclear as to why, but I think it has a lot to do with the mere fact that right now is mostly about coping mechanisms. Life is different here. My days are filled with the responsibilities of life, but the lack of companionship and friendship makes it all feel dull and lifeless. I know this season will seem remarkably short in the span of a lifetime, but in my efforts to maintain balance I find myself feeling emotionally thin.

Blogging about my lack of inspiration for life seems petty.

There has been much good in our home. Matt and I are slowly settling into our townhouse, in spite of the fact that we're already looking at other homes. We still have plans to find a home to own, but in that search we are attempting to feel cozy in our current situation. As we settle in, this place is beginning to feel comfortable, safe and even a little enjoyable.

Work for Matt has been (as you can imagine) a bit stressful. Maintaining a perspective of "you can't do
everything now" has been a challenge and even though Matt is only in his first year at Ball State, he feels compelled to make this program a success now. The hours have been great and having Matt at home most evenings is a treat I've never known. Both Lucas and I look forward to his arrival in the evenings, which brightens every day for us.

Lucas seems happy too. He's our kid who has
always been fairly flexible, easy-going and joyful. With that in mind, we've been dealing with behavioral issues that are concerning. Having a strong-willed, smart and independent child is a gift... and a challenge. Always having been a firm parent, I find myself wondering why this little man of ours pushes boundaries he knows are limited. When I think on these things, I understand that we're in a new environment and testing limits is healthy. Our boy needs to be reminded that our family unit is the same and the way we love each other will remain unchanged. Though these times can feel like my undoing, I know they're crucial to him growing into the faith-filled, strong, young man he's meant to be.

Moving is an act that seems to affect all of us. The stress of feeling alone, missing "home" and changing environments affects all of us, and then like a wave, reflects off one another. We're all facing feelings of stress, insecurity and instability. This is a wonderful time of growth, challenge and development as a family, within our faith and how we operate as individuals. Though I find myself overwhelmed at moments with the consequences of our decisions, I try to remain level-headed in the fact that this work is not finished. We are only on the cusp of what lies ahead for our family. I know much good will be a result of this hard work.

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phil. 1:6


2 comments:

  1. In full solidarity with you. Minus the child part. Although my cats can be bad tempered at times.... :) Kerry Gillette

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  2. Moving IS such hard work, and so full of upheaval for everyone. Hang in there through these transitional, gritty times...

    I remember when we first moved here to SLC, our stuff didn't arrive for a good 10 days after we did. We were living our rental house with inflatable mattresses and a couple suitcases and paper dishes. We were going out to eat a lot and I vividly remember one lunch at an Indian restaurant downtown when Grace (then 4) just lost it, sobbing that she just wanted to eat lunch "in a house". Moving really is so tough on everybody, the little ones included.

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