Friday, May 27, 2011

Not A Peppy Post... In Fact, It's A Real Downer

It's been a rough few weeks and I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty inadequate as a parent right now. Most days I can roll with the punches, go with the flow and not feel beat down by the trials of parenthood, but this week hasn't had the same effect on me. Lucas' antics and behavior have me feeling low, discouraged and and completely inept.

I say all of this in complete honesty... but also realize how fortunate I am to have a child who is tender, capable and growing. In spite of our fortune, I would be lying if I didn't admit that parenthood is hard... no matter who you're parenting. The ups and downs of mood, circumstance and growth have me at the mercy of our child. We have a few problems here and I could use a solution or two, at this point.

I'm just wishing a light would come on... or the clouds would clear.

As parents, we want to guide, lead and direct our children's personalities into people of character and faith. Being the parent of a toddler, it seems excessive to speak in such grand scale... but we have to start somewhere. We are called to teach our little people how to become big people. It feels like I'm failing at times and I worry that I'm not cut out for this. In fact, I know I'm not cut out for this. I feel weak and worn out and just when our child needs me the most, I am at my shallowest.

I only hope the Good Lord breathes strength and tenacity into my soul... clarity and wisdom wouldn't hurt either.

1 comment:

  1. Oi. I hear ya! Sometimes the most encouraging thing I can hear is YOU'RE NOT ALONE! Henry was an easy baby/toddler and I still had these struggles. Then there's Wyatt... He can make me feel like I am totally out of control! I often feel like a failure as a mother b/c I've corrected a little too loudly (read: yelled) or just plain out reacted badly. Though his antics can make anyone insane! All that to say, you are a NORMAL, good mommy and this will end. It will! I find myself praying in little spurts all day - little cries of desperation for help, patience, calm. We will make it through....maybe with more grey hair, but we'll make it. ;). Love ya!